Never A Bridesmaid

Elsie was a bridesmaid once, for her older sister’s wedding. It was a blast! The lead-up parties, the brunches, the excuse to buy a new dress - it infused her drab life with a sense of purpose.

She supposed it sounded silly, but a rousing battle cry of “For the Bride!” never failed to giver her chills.

As a bridesmaid, people looked to her for answers, and listened as she gave them. Men noticed her, and though their affections only lasted until the end of the reception, it was intoxicating. Being a bridesmaid was a joyous moment of power.

She was 21 when her sister wed Todd, eight years ago, and now her own friends were starting to pair off and get married.

It was time!

Finally!

First Jana got married, and Elsie held her breath as one by one, their shared friends posted pictures of their “Will you be my bridesmaid?” gifts. Elsie waited impatiently for hers.

She waited.

And waited.

Then, the Save the Date came, and she knew she wasn’t picked. The night of the rehearsal dinner, she sobbed into a pint of ice cream.

Next were Josh and his wife Kat. She wasn’t exactly close to Kat, so her heart didn’t break when she wasn’t asked.

Then, there were Luz and LaToya - both friends of Elsie - who were planning a big ceremony with five bridesmaids each. The odds were good, and when Elsie got invited to “brunch with the girls,” she couldn’t hide her excitement.

“Elsie,” Luz began. It was just the three of them; the other girls hadn’t shown up yet. “Your friendship means the world to us.”

Elsie sat up straighter and smiled brighter. Her moment was coming.

“We are planning a big wedding,” LaToya continued. “Unfortunately, the venue isn’t big enough for everyone.”

Her smile slipped. She didn’t understand.

“We want you to join us at home. We’ll be livestreaming the wedding.”

“Oh.”

“We love you.” LaToya leaned in to put her hands on top of Elsie’s. It felt fake, rehearsed.

“We need you to be happy for us.” Luz was smiling, but her tone hinted at a certain finality that Elsie didn’t like.

“I am,” she began. “Now, I don’t have to buy a new dress.”

“Great!” LaToya perked up as the girls approached. “We just didn’t want you to sulk in front of the bridesmaids and bring down brunch.”

When she got home, Elsie screamed into a pillow until she saw stars. When was it going to be her turn again?

She was kind. She was loyal. She was organized. And, probably most importantly, she was rich enough to actually afford all of the extras that came with being a bridesmaid.

Hell, she could even cover one or two other bridesmaids without overextending herself too far. What was the point of having disposable income if she couldn’t dispose of it?

Elsie’s phone buzzed. She unlocked it and opened the offending app. A close-up of a ring greeted her.

Zanab had just eloped with her fiance three days after getting engaged.

Elsie screamed and threw her phone against the wall. It shattered on impact. She needed new friends.